Fatherhood

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Friday Funny 2/4/2022

Jackson had a good one this week. Mr. I’m 3 and I Know Everything. He wanted something from our camper, that is currently in storage in a building behind our house. Now, a couple months back when it was first put in there, he wanted something from it. I went back there with him and he realized he cannot get to the toys (because with the slideouts in, you can’t access the bunkhouse portion. You can’t access the kitchen either. He didn’t believe me that we emptied the snacks out of the cabinet – but we did.

So the day before this story happened, he told Mom he wanted the “slime” from the camper. I’m not certain this slime even exists, to be honest. He proceeded to put on his coat and go try to get in it. Things did not go as he planned. He was highly upset.

The story for this week is him trying a third time to get into the camper, but this time, he decided to bring a secret weapon – Dad. I arrived home from work, and was told off immediately about how he wanted the slime from the camper. He drags me by the hand outside and to the storage building. Now, this is Wisconsin in winter. We have snow on the ground. Surprisingly not as much as some years, but enough for his tennis shoes to sink to his ankle.

As he took that first step onto the unshoveled or unplowed snow and sank. He looks and me and says, “I need you to make footprints for me to walk in.” I did, taking strides about the length of my shoe so he could use them to not sink in the snow.

We get to the camper door and he starts to pull on the metal folding stairs. I wait. I know what is coming. He turns to me. “You have to open these.” As he tugs on the stairs. I get the stairs down for him. He climbs up on them, “Now I have to open the door.”

Dad ends up doing this too. He goes into the entranceway of the camper and looks at the wall of the slideout, blocking his way further into the camper. He asks me where his bedroom is (the bunkhouse at the rear). I point through the slideout panel. He tries to peer in the window that is there. He orders me into the camper with him. After explaining there is no power, we can’t make the slides go out (not to mention the walls of the storage building would prevent them from opening too far anyway), he then tries the switches anyway.

Eventually, he gives up, accepts defeat. We put everything back the way we found it and he goes inside to tell Mom. He’s persistent though. I suspect we will try again in a week or two.

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Friday Funny 1/28/2022

It’s been a very cold week here in Wisconsin. Even taking the Littles outside to play on the snow mound isn’t much fun. But my kids have adapted a little, though it provides a hilarious scenario this week. 

Emma has been asking Me to play hide and seek in the house with her. I finally had to break the news to her that there aren’t a lot of places for Daddy to hide inside the house. So we decided to play Hide A Stuffy. She picked a stuffed animal and we took turns hiding that for the seeker to find. It usually ended up playing Hot/Cold for her to find it. Or she would beg for hints. 

This week her and Jackson played it together without Dad. I’m listening as she keeps adding more stuffies for Jackson to hide at the same time (they got up to 7 or 8 before the game broke down.) 

Now, Jackson doesn’t quite understand how Hide and Seek works yet. He’s the kid you can call his name and he’ll tell you he’s “over here”. So he hides the stuffed animals. Then proceeds to tell Emma things like, ”I hid it over here.” While pointing to a cabinet or behind a box. Sometimes he would just tell her what room it was in, and I had hope for those rounds. 

Every time he’d tell her exactly where something was, Emma would yell at him he isn’t supposed to tell her. I overheard an exchange that went something like this.

E: Ok, Jackson, you have to give me a hint.

J: I hid them here in Teta’s room. (As he leads her into their big brother’s room.)

E:  (moments later, yelling) I SAID DON’T TELL ME WHERE IT IS.

J:(sits on the couch) I need a break. Can you put in Paw Patrol… or Blaze. I changed my mind. Blaze. 

Until next week folks…

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Friday Funny 1/21/2022

This week’s Friday Funny comes courtesy of my youngest, and is a three-parter.

Samurai Jack Wannabe

Jackson and I were home just the two of us on Monday. Older sis and bro were at school, mom was at work. Typical Monday in our house actually once Emma started 5 day a week Kindergarten. I had a cup with sweet tea flavored water in the living room while he was taking his nap. I had not finished all of it, but no big deal. I am working in the kitchen fixing dinner while he is in the living room, having woken up from nap by this point. He comes running into the kitchen super excited, and our exchange went like this.

Jackson: “I finished your soda daddy”
Me: “What soda?”
J: “Your soda in the living room.”
M: “I didn’t have soda, I had tea buddy.”
J: “I drank your soda.” giggles maniacally and runs off.
Jokes on him. It wasn’t soda, no matter how much he thinks he pulled a fast one.

Part two is – Mom and Dad spent 20 minutes trying to find the thermometer to make sure whether Emma had a fever or not. We knew we had just used it a night or two before for Jackson when he wasn’t feeling well. Couldn’t find it at all.

Fast forward to a couple nights later, I’ve got the kids helping me pick up their toys and things from the living room. I send Jackson behind the recliner to get this old time tea pot looking thing and some other toys he left there (He likes to hide behind the recliner when he thinks he’s going to get in trouble for something, like swiping someone’s phone or a toy from his sister). I pick up the tea pot when he set it down, it rattles like something is inside it. I pop off the lid. Look what was inside.

He also managed to stick a small container of aquafor in there as well. I get the items out and show him that Mommy was looking for the thermometer.

He responds: “I put it in there. I’m a good hider.”

The things this kid comes up with.

Part 3 involves my new coat I got for Christmas. I had it hanging on a hook by the back door in the kitchen. Emma and Jackson managed to pull it down, and then they ran around claiming they were Daddy. They like to quote me as saying, “We’re eating dinner and going straight to bed.” This is their chant as they run around in my coat. Jackson eventually ended up with the coat, much to Emma’s dismay.

A little blurry because he wouldn’t stand still to take a picture. So this one is on the run.

Stay tuned next week for another edition of Friday Funny, or as I should have called it, “Funny Shit My Kids Did This Week.”

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Friday Funny 1/14/2022

This week was a fun one. My 5-year-old daughter, Emma, has a Youtube channel where she has done some cooking shows because she loves being in the kitchen. If you guys would go subscribe to her channel it would mean the world to her. We share all the comments with her because it is a passion project for her.

So, her little brother, Jackson, has tried to get into the kitchen in the past. As a newly minted 3-year-old, he has really begun to assert himself with Emma. Really since she started 5 day a week kindergarten and he had more time to himself. Earlier in the week, we needed to crack eggs for scrambled eggs to do Breakfast for Dinner. Just him, myself, and my wife were home. He wanted to help Mommy in the kitchen, so she set him up with a small bowl to crack eggs into. We did this for Emma when she first started because of shell pieces. Well, he must have cracked over a dozen eggs and only had one or two tiny pieces of shell. 

Selecting his next victim
Adding to the big bowl

My wife took some video and I snapped a couple pictures. We asked him if he was going to do a cooking show like Emma, and he enthusiastically said yes. Then my wife tried to get him to do an intro, “Hi it’s me Jackson, and I’m cooking in the kitchen.” 

His response, “Can’t do it.” As he continues cracking eggs like a pro, he starts waving at the camera and says. “I’m Jackson, Cooking in the Kitchen.” Then goes back to cracking eggs. He wouldn’t repeat it, so the video shot isn’t as polished as Emma’s. It is very Jackson though.

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Daddy/Jackson Day 9/20/2021

Today did not start out the way I would have liked. My youngest decided at 1am he was up. Wife had to work so it was up to Dad to take him downstairs and try to get him wound down.

Flash forward about 4 hours and I finally get him in his bed. I go back to mine to find my 5yr old has invaded. Dad hooks back into his cpap machine (yes I’ve been diagnosed with severe sleep apnea). About an hour later I have to get up and get kids ready for school. I send off the older two to school, wife to work, and I finally get another hour or so of sleep, albeit with Jackson sleeping on my arm.

Caffienating as I drive, we make it to our joint chiropractor appointment. I get adjusted and then it’s Jackson’s turn. It’s like he flipped a switch and became the most well behaved not quite 3 year old you’d ever meet.

A little facial massage to help open his sinuses.

We then managed to negotiate shopping at Walmart in record time, only missing one item, because they were out of it.

Successful shopping trip: Check

I would say, never argue with a child about what you McDonald’s has, because even if you’re right, you’re wrong. I told him they didn’t have dinosaur toys, he insisted they did. He ended up with Lion King’s Simba.

Lunch home and nap: in that order. Dad would have loved to get a nap too, but sadly I had things to do. He looked well rested when he got up later.

No pictures, please.

In the store, he’d tried to put two bags of mini powdered donuts in the cart. We compromised on one, in addition to the promised box of candy he got for being a good boy all day. For snack time before bed, he swore to me he didn’t pick out the candy that he did, Jolly Rancher Sour Gummies.

Instead, he chose to have two donuts “I need one for each hand”. And a third to give to Mommy “They are her favorite, I know”.

That’s when I was betrayed. He said he wanted more. Dad said no. Mom told Jackson to get the kitchen stool so he could reach them off the back of the counter where I had put them.

Celebrating his victory with additional donuts.

It’s clear the gauntlet had been thrown. The coup has begun. Dad is going to be overthrown as King of the House.

Who am I kidding?

Dad hasn’t been King since at least Empress Emma was born. I’m just a puppet. Dancing upon the strings.

Moral of the Day: Maybe, just maybe, the kid needs a facial massage and chiropractor appointment to keep the sassy away.

Jackson wants to go “Bishing”
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Jackson wants to go “Bishing”

I’ll clarify this post at the beginning before anyone gets confused. “Bishing” means “Fishing”. This summer, my youngest has discovered the ages old past time of fishing. He’s absolutely mad for it. He even sounds like a cranky old fisherman sometimes.

Where we spend our summers, he’s been using canned corn to fish from the dock, catching sunfish and bluegill, along with the occasional catfish or a tiny bass. when he reels in his line and the corn is gone, he’ll turn around and mutter, “Fish took my darn bait.” I wish he’d do it on camera, but if he sees the phone pointed at him he clams up and hides his face. At least, most of the time.

Sunday morning was our last morning at the lake for the season. And as the first rays of sun poked through the camper windows. He’s jumping up and down on me yelling, “It morning time. It Bishing time.”

So, now that our time at the lake is over, he still wants to go “bishing” down by the river or even back to the lake. On Monday we got a container of worms and went to the river on the edge of town while we waited for his sister to finish after school program. We didn’t catch anything, but the way he looks at the water and his line; it’s a boy in his happy place. Hard to believe he’s not even 3 yet.

This means dad has to learn something about fishing. Which I haven’t done seriously since I was a kid myself. And that with a cane pole catching brim down south. I’m hoping he doesn’t want to ice fish though. That’s pretty darn cold.

Though “Bishing” really isn’t my thing, I’d love to be supportive of his enthusiasm, which means it’s time to learn what I can. If anyone has any favorite blogs or podcasts about fishing I’d appreciate it if you dropped them in the comments. Even better if they specifically talk about fishing in Wisconsin. Until next time…

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My Daughter, The Teacher

Super proud dad moment that I have to tell the world about. for some background, we are in our third year of raising monarch butterflies for release. By gathering the eggs and caterpillars we find in the wild, we can make sure they grow up predator free and released healthy into the wild as butterflies.

My 5 year old daughter, Emma, is why we started doing this. For her third birthday, we got one of those mail order kits. She fell in love with watching and helping those caterpillars become butterflies.

The Agricultural teacher at the local school asked if Emma would bring in some of her caterpillars (we are at almost 500 this season so far at various stages). Part of this would be Emma giving a talk about the life cycle of these beautiful creatures.

On her way to her classroom.

She took to the idea with gusto. This topic is a passion of hers and she was beyond excited to share it with her “students”. She gave her presentation and shared her caterpillars with two classes that day.

Ready for her students to arrive.

Her classes loved it and they really enjoyed getting to hold the larger, 5th Instar, caterpillars she brought with her.

5th Instar Monarch Caterpillar.

After her lessons, she checked over the school’s milkweed plants to see if there were any “friends” there to help.

Inspecting the milkweed.

She amazes me everyday with her drive and passion for you interests. I can’t wait to see what adventures she takes us on next.

Side note: this teacher used Emma’s YouTube channel in her Food Science class for the cooking shows Emma has there. The fun part was that Emma’s older brother took that class, and therefore had to watch his sister as part of his class curriculum.

If you’d be interested in checking out her videos, you can find (and Subscribe) to her channel HERE.

You can also check out some of her adventures on her Facebook page.

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Week in Review- June 19th, 2021

This was a big week in the Ferrell Household.

I managed to write two scenes for book 4 of my urban fantasy series, Family Heritage. A third scene is formulated but not fully written. I began a new short story for Meteor Falls. Oh yeah, and I turned 39. Last year of the 30s before I hit the big 40.

Our monarch butterfly season is in full swing. We have close to 500 eggs and caterpillars of various stages. And nearly a dozen in “raccoons” as Emma called them the first season. She couldn’t say cocoons, much less chrysalis, at that point. The term has kinda stuck around our house, even though we know the proper terms now and can use them.

Sunday is my niece/goddaughter’s birthday. I took Emma and Jackson to go birthday shopping for her. They did really well picking out things they thought Nora would like. I guess we’ll see when we go there for her party.

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June 2021??????

How in all that is written is it June already? It feels like we just had the doubleheader of my wife’s birthday and then Valentine’s Day. Lots to talk about so I may ramble a bit.

February I participated in a Pitch Party on Twitter (you can follow me here). I got a grand total of 1 like from an agent, so then I panicked. I’d written the story, almost 30k words, in January. Could I do this? Should I do this? I figured, what the hell. Worst she can say is no right? It’s never stopped me before. So I sent in the query packet. Then the crippling anxiety set in. February was a horrible month writing wise and March wasn’t much better. I’m getting back into a grove now, but none of my projects are holding on as tight as that one.

Fast Forward to April 7th, and I got the form letter rejection. No agent for me this time. I’m still thinking this one has commercial appeal and I’m going to query it again. When I’ve had a chance to study how to write better queries.

Meanwhile, I received feedback from a beta reader for Reunions & Rebellions, the third book in my Family Heritage series. She loved everything, including the ending. Except the girls sounded stilted and formal in their conversations. So I’ve reworked a few scenes with the help of my amazing friend Leya.

The day job is going well. Still slinging cheese but I’ve been promoted to a full time operator. Little more money and so far it’s easier on my wrists and shoulders. Feet still kill me almost everyday but might be time for a new pair of work shoes.

Cloaked Press is growing. Through our partnership with SciFi & Fantasy Writer’s Guild, we launched Depths of Love 2021. A short story anthology featuring tales of love in all its myriad forms, not just your typical romances.

That’s not all. Spring Into SciFi 2021 launched right on time this year as well. In its fourth year, this series of anthologies continues to be my best seller, both in copies and kindle unlimited page reads. I’m overjoyed that I got to share these stories with the world.

Our newest themed anthology, Summer of Speculation launches its first edition on June 21st. with a theme of Catastrophe, I wasn’t sure what kind of stories I would get. It’s turned out better than I hoped. It can be found HERE.

Ok onto the family side of things. I’m now the father of a high school junior and a kindergartener. We’ve been raising what we thought were frog tadpoles, turns out they must be some sort of lizard as they are well past the turning point to be frogs. Still waiting to see what they become.

It’s also Monarch Butterfly season here in Northeast Wisconsin. This is our third year helping these little beauties and I think we’re already nearing our total from last year. Between eggs and caterpillars we have nearly 400 already. We’ve seen Facebook posts from people who e crossed the thousand mark before now, but we just like to try and help as much as we can. The more we have, the more milkweed we have to collect, which means the more we find in the milkweed. Still, the look of pure joy and wonder on Emma’s face when she gets to hold the big 5th Instar caterpillars or the emerged butterflies is totally worth it. Jackson is starting to get into it a bit this year as well. You can follow Emma’s journey on her Facebook page, but it would be awesome if she got some more YouTube followers. She loves hearing comments from her “fans”.

I think that’s all for now but hopefully soon I’ll have a release date for Reunions & Rebellions. Until next time.

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1 Month Down 2021 Edition

January was a good month for me on a lot of fronts, although I didn’t blog about them. I did put a bit more of my writing journey on Facebook on my author page though.

January Writing News:

30558 words written. Most of it in my just over 27k MG/YA fantasy novel. “Sibling Rivalry: A Children of the Realms Tale” will be getting pitched to agents and editors during the February 3rd #SFFPIT event in Twitter. You can check it out at this LINK. If anyone is on Twitter and would be willing to help Retweet me, you can find me on Twitter under andrewmferrell

My February goals include knocking out the rest of the two short stories I’m working on for my Meteor Fall project. Hopefully then that collection will start to come together. I’m working with some great friends of mine in the writing world. I think readers will enjoy the world we’re creating.

I’m also planning on getting a big chunk of my wip “Bible of Mars” done. This was an idea my father in law came up with when we used to carpool to the day job. Involved people having migrated from Mars to earth for some reason. I ended up finding a plot and outlining it last year. I don’t think I’ll finish it this month. It should be a fun SciFi romp though.

Family Heritage Book 3: Reunions & Rebellions is in the hands of some betas and proofreaders. I have a cover mock-up I’ll share later this month I think once I think I have a handle on its publication date.

On the home front things are going pretty good. My oldest started his job and it’s going alright except for constant changes in his sports schedule messing with his work schedule. But basketball season will be over soon and then he can put in a few more hours. We’re getting along pretty well. I’m proud of the choices he’s making lately with regards to school and his future.

Emma and Jackson are still giving Dad a run for his money. Here’s Emma and I playing on a 15-20 ft snow pile behind our house yesterday.

It was harder to climb than I thought it would be because the snow was very fluffy and didn’t pack down well. I kept sinking and sliding back down. It was fun though. Wife and Jackson watched from a window and laughed pretty hard at “Daddy fall down. “Daddy fall again”. As Jackson put it. He’d had enough by this time and had gone back inside.

I have a short story of n a collection called “The Depths of Love: an SFWG anthology” due out February 10th. I happen to know if you preorder the ebook and send a screenshot to the publisher, you are entered to win a paperback copy of any short story collection they’ve published.

Cloaked Press also has its 2021 edition of Spring Into SciFi coming later this month or first week of March. Currently accepting submissions for the first Summer of Speculation themed anthology as well. Catastrophe is the theme. All the details are on their website.

I’m hoping to get more updates here on the blog in the future. Maybe just a weekly check in with some more writing and family news as that’s my focus here. Thank you all for coming along on this crazy journey with me.