Fatherhood: May 9th, 2018

Here’s a few of the things I have learned about my daughter in the few weeks since she turned two.

1: If you stub your toe and exclaim “Shit”, your two year old will constantly repeat said word at inappropriate moments, making you feel like the worst parent ever.

2: You can spend longer than ten minutes “dumping” imaginary buckets of water in the sink or bathtub.

3: Farting is just as funny to a two year old girl as it is to males of all ages.

4: Falling asleep requires clutching one of Daddy’s earlobes in between your fingers. When the Kung fu grip starts to relax, it’s time to place toddler in her bed and RUN!

5: Lastly, (for now) if you have a sore back and move stiffly in the presence of your toddler, they will parade in front of you exaggerating your motion.

Bonus: Even bald Daddies can have their hair styled by a two year old.

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February 8th, 2018 Update – Fatherhood, upcoming projects, etc.

Hello my Gentle Readers. I just wanted to check in and let you all know how my 2018 is shaping up so far. We are more than a month in now and things are really hopping.

Cloaked Press, the publishing company I started last year, is turning 1 year old this month. We are launching our second short story collection, Spring Into SciFi 2018, on March 20th, 2018. (Obviously 2018, since it’s in the title. Haha). It’s very exciting. I’ll throw out the cover here, but if you’d like to get your hands on an ARC and get a chance to talk to some of the authors, then you can join the Launch Street Team.
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I am woefully behind on my own writing projects. My demon infused novella has stalled out. Editing books 2 and 3 of my Family Heritage Series is taxing to say the least. I hate editing/revising. I just want it to be perfect when I bleed that first draft onto the pages, you know? Hopefully once I get Spring Into SciFi put to press, I’ll have more energy to devote to my personal projects.

I hope everyone has been enjoying the guest posts and the recent Meet The Author Monday interviews. I’d love to have more authors to feature on my blog, so if you know any that should be shared with the world, please send them my way. They can get the details on the Meet The Author Mondays Page.

Lastly, I want to tell a story about my daughter (who will be 2 in April). For at least the last 6 months, I have been the primary person to put my daughter to bed at night. I warm up a bottle of milk, we snuggle under a blanket in the recliner in her room that I bought for my wife when she was nursing. We have a tradition of her talking to Quack Quack, which is me making a shadow duck on her ceiling using my cellphone flashlight. She and Quack Quack talk about her day and then he gives her a “shadow smooch” and she finishes her milk. Normally, I would end up falling asleep in the chair with her and wake up a few hours later (usually when we both have turned into the furnace we become when we sleep). Then I could put her in her crib and go to my bed. I know this was a cause for dissatisfaction for my wife, as I didn’t get to come back and spend time with her before she went to bed. Lately that has all changed and my feelings are bittersweet about it. Our routine is slightly changed: warm bottle, snuggled in recliner with blanket, conversation with Quack Quack. The difference is when she finishes her bottle, she hands it to me, and says, “Done.” Then she will usually roll over like she is going to snuggle in, and immediately starts to kick the blanket off, telling me she’s, “Done”. If I ask her, “Are you ready for your bed?” She will tell me, “Yes. Done.” or “Night Night”. If I don’t move fast enough to put her in her bed, she gets quite upset with me.

I miss the snuggles, but I am grateful for the hour or two that I get back in the evening as it has helped me to get things ready for Spring Into SciFi, and actually get a little bit of editing done. Here is a recent picture of my little princess. She has her pajamas on still, but she put her mother’s snow boots on so she could take a sled ride with her grammy. (For the record we waited until later and had real snow worthy clothes on when the sled ride happened.)
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Spell a Day – Feb 11th 2016

Today, Gentle Readers, is the topic of blessing your books. In most pagan religions this means blessing your Book of Shadows for protection.

I’m going a different way and putting out a call for suggestions of books to review in the upcoming weeks/months. I have a few more I am working my way through but I am always on the lookout for something new. I particularly enjoy science fiction/fantasy works. I recently read a space opera that was pretty good. I don’t have a lot of disposable income with the new baby on the way and I actually prefer ebooks at this time because I can carry them around on my phone. I am looking for smaller name authors. The big names get enough credit and this is about helping out small press or indie authors.

So let me know in the comments your suggestions. Links are helpful but a title and author name works in google search just as well.

Spell a Day – Feb 8th 2016

Today Gentle Readers, is the official Chinese New Year. 2016 is the year of the Red Fire Monkey.  This is a time of increased energy and “fire” to fuel your endeavors. According to Chinese astrology this is a good year for pursuing your dreams and taking bold steps to reach your goals, success is out there and yours for the taking this year.

I think about the events upcoming in my life this year and hope I can tap into this energy on a regular basis. I have a new baby coming in a little over two months (if it stays where it is supposed to for full term birth). A child born in the year of a Red Fire Monkey is going to be something of a challenge, if this astrology is to be believed. Once my little boy or girl is born I guess the real journey will begin.

Being born in the year of the Dog, I am destined to be a great mentor and companion to Monkey. Oddly, my son was born in 2004, which makes him a Monkey too. I hope this means that my new child and I will be able to share a close bond as well.

As the time for me to become a father for the second time approaches, I find myself turning to the lessons I learned from my absentee father. Mainly what NOT to do. I will never let my children feel abandoned by me. I will never try to force them into instruments to inflate my own ego. That is not what children are for. They are blessings to bring joy into your life.

So, go forth into this new time fueled by the energy of the Fire Monkey. Until next time Gentle Readers.

Spell a Day – Feb 5th 2016

Forgiveness of self. Sometimes one of the hardest things to do in our life is forgive ourselves for decisions we made. If I have learned anything from my day job of dispatching, is that sometimes, you just have the make the best decision you can at the time, with the tools and knowledge you have at your disposal. Hindsight is always going to reveal a new plan of action, but that plan may not have been something to consider without the benefit of hindsight.  Have any of you made decisions that you came to regret later? Perhaps there is a toxic relationship (lover, friend, coworker, or relative) that you harbor guilt, anger, and/or resentment towards yourself over. Time to let go of that negativity in your life. Even if you cannot salvage the relationship in anyway (and you may not really want to) you cannot continue to beat yourself up over it. You are only harming yourself.

I use the example of my biological father. Now “sperm donor” as he has been called by my older sister and I because of his never really acting like a father figure, is a narcissistic sociopath. (Thank you Criminal Minds). Everything, every act/every word/every event, is designed to inflate his ego and self importance. Throughout my life he has popped in and I thought for sure this time would be different, that we would have a healthy father/son relationship. Each time I was crushed one way or another when he let me down. I think that is part of why I struggle sometimes to interact with my son. I am not wired very well in that respect. I have taken cues from my father in law and brother in law who are great with their kids and tried to learn to do better. I think I learn something new all the time.

I held onto a lot of anger and resentment for my father and later my stepfather that I think I have finally begun to let go of. I am far from perfect, and never will be, but at least it doesn’t send me into any sort of blind rage like it used to. I hope my children never have cause to think of me in the same light as I have pictured the ‘father figures’ I grew up watching.

Do you harbor any of these feelings of guilt, anger, or resentment from a relationship gone sour? Let it go Gentle Readers and enter the next phase of your life with a lighter heart.

Spell a Day – Feb 4th 2016

lemon1

A lemon, and yes, I am talking about the one pictured above, not a faulty car someone sleazy used car salesman sold you.

Lemons are supposed to be useful in warding off harmful spells or evil intent. Just cut in half and leave somewhere for twenty four hours (application of another useful herb such as pepper to strengthen). If they blacken quickly, more than just from the pepper, it is recommended to discard and repeat.

I think a much better usage is writing secret messages with their juice, when you aren’t using them to make lemonade or as a garnish on fish (I know a salmon dish that is particularly tasty with fresh lemon on it). I think I may have to demonstrate this to my son one day when his mother isn’t home. Then he can write a secret message and tell her she has to heat it up over a lightbulb in order to read it. Could be fun.

Until next time Gentle Readers.

Spell a Day – Feb 3rd 2016

springcleaning

Anyone else feel like this? That’s right Gentle Readers, we are on the downhill to Spring. Grab your sage oil and spearmint oil, mix those up with a little water and spritz your house to dispel the buildup of the long winter months.

I have a further complication to my cleaning efforts this year as my wife and I are expecting our second child the end of April. Going to be a big adjustment from the three of us and two dogs, to adding a newborn into the mix. We have done a lot of prepwork on the nursery. Now it is just the mental preparation. This is really happening. I have been listening to Macklemore and Lewis’s song, Growing up, every day. I think it has become my mantra so to speak. “Who am I, if I’m the person you become, if I’m still growing up.”

I’ve done a lot of soul searching, working on my temper and I think I have made some progress. I think fatherhood is going to settle me down more this time around. I cannot wait to walk out of my work in July and take 8 weeks or more off to enjoy with my newborn and my son.

Until next time Gentle Readers, don’t procrastinate your spring cleaning, or we will ahve to call it summer cleaning.