My First Novel is coming

I have written poetry and short fiction off and on since high school. I never published anything professionally, and rarely shared it with anyone but a few close friends, or the person the poem was about. I never had the guts to take that next step, although it has been a lifelong dream to see my name on store/library shelves alongside some of the fiction authors I have enjoyed in my life. I even figured I should land somewhere near Raymond E. Feist, given that my last name is Ferrell. It all seemed a pipe dream, something I wanted but would never achieve.

Flash forward a little more than a decade and I have an incredible wife who caught me one day messing around with my manuscript. I told her about my dream of being a published author, something I had kept to myself at first even though we were married. She shared a laugh with me that I admitted I had been messing with this same story off and on since I was in high school. It had never gone anywhere. Finally it seemed that my muse had descended and I had some clarity of direction. A couple months of work polishing and working with a friend to proofread my work, and I was ready to send it to a publishing house. I was going to become an author. I thought, “No way can this not be good.”

Two rejections later from major publishing houses and I had to re-evaluate my dream a little. I started reading author’s blogs and researching literary agents and other publishing houses. I figured there had to be another way to achieve my goals. What I stumbled upon is Amazon’s Create Space publishing and it felt like I had found a home. Sure, every new author wants to achieve stardom with a big publishing house. Writing was never about the huge book tours and best seller lists, although I wouldn’t have turned it down. It was about putting myself out there and sharing my words with the world. Honestly it scared me to death. I suppose I always was an introvert in a group of friends who were extroverts. Crowds, while they don’t bother me as much now as they used to, certainly make my heart rate go up.

I cannot wait to share my words with the world, and I hope that others will enjoy them as much as I enjoyed telling the story. Just working out the final details (cover art and formatting for publication) and then it will be ready. It will be so rewarding and exciting to hold those pages in my hand.


Father’s Day 2014

I am awake early on this Sunday, Father’s Day 2014. No one else in my house is up. I live on a quiet street so the noise outside is minimal. Today is a day that I wouldn’t have thought would have much significance for me when I was younger. My son, Mason, will probably wake up any minute and bring the dogs downstairs with him. I will get a hello, or good morning, and then he will do his own thing. What I hope he knows is that I love him, and will be there for him no matter what. I will never let him feel the abandonment that I grew up with because my father was a part time dad, full time asshole. So, here is to the Dads out there who sucked it up and always did what they had to do for their kids. They say any man can make a baby, but it takes a special man to be a Father.