Friday Funny 2/4/2022

Jackson had a good one this week. Mr. I’m 3 and I Know Everything. He wanted something from our camper, that is currently in storage in a building behind our house. Now, a couple months back when it was first put in there, he wanted something from it. I went back there with him and he realized he cannot get to the toys (because with the slideouts in, you can’t access the bunkhouse portion. You can’t access the kitchen either. He didn’t believe me that we emptied the snacks out of the cabinet – but we did.

So the day before this story happened, he told Mom he wanted the “slime” from the camper. I’m not certain this slime even exists, to be honest. He proceeded to put on his coat and go try to get in it. Things did not go as he planned. He was highly upset.

The story for this week is him trying a third time to get into the camper, but this time, he decided to bring a secret weapon – Dad. I arrived home from work, and was told off immediately about how he wanted the slime from the camper. He drags me by the hand outside and to the storage building. Now, this is Wisconsin in winter. We have snow on the ground. Surprisingly not as much as some years, but enough for his tennis shoes to sink to his ankle.

As he took that first step onto the unshoveled or unplowed snow and sank. He looks and me and says, “I need you to make footprints for me to walk in.” I did, taking strides about the length of my shoe so he could use them to not sink in the snow.

We get to the camper door and he starts to pull on the metal folding stairs. I wait. I know what is coming. He turns to me. “You have to open these.” As he tugs on the stairs. I get the stairs down for him. He climbs up on them, “Now I have to open the door.”

Dad ends up doing this too. He goes into the entranceway of the camper and looks at the wall of the slideout, blocking his way further into the camper. He asks me where his bedroom is (the bunkhouse at the rear). I point through the slideout panel. He tries to peer in the window that is there. He orders me into the camper with him. After explaining there is no power, we can’t make the slides go out (not to mention the walls of the storage building would prevent them from opening too far anyway), he then tries the switches anyway.

Eventually, he gives up, accepts defeat. We put everything back the way we found it and he goes inside to tell Mom. He’s persistent though. I suspect we will try again in a week or two.

Friday Funny 1/28/2022

It’s been a very cold week here in Wisconsin. Even taking the Littles outside to play on the snow mound isn’t much fun. But my kids have adapted a little, though it provides a hilarious scenario this week. 

Emma has been asking Me to play hide and seek in the house with her. I finally had to break the news to her that there aren’t a lot of places for Daddy to hide inside the house. So we decided to play Hide A Stuffy. She picked a stuffed animal and we took turns hiding that for the seeker to find. It usually ended up playing Hot/Cold for her to find it. Or she would beg for hints. 

This week her and Jackson played it together without Dad. I’m listening as she keeps adding more stuffies for Jackson to hide at the same time (they got up to 7 or 8 before the game broke down.) 

Now, Jackson doesn’t quite understand how Hide and Seek works yet. He’s the kid you can call his name and he’ll tell you he’s “over here”. So he hides the stuffed animals. Then proceeds to tell Emma things like, ”I hid it over here.” While pointing to a cabinet or behind a box. Sometimes he would just tell her what room it was in, and I had hope for those rounds. 

Every time he’d tell her exactly where something was, Emma would yell at him he isn’t supposed to tell her. I overheard an exchange that went something like this.

E: Ok, Jackson, you have to give me a hint.

J: I hid them here in Teta’s room. (As he leads her into their big brother’s room.)

E:  (moments later, yelling) I SAID DON’T TELL ME WHERE IT IS.

J:(sits on the couch) I need a break. Can you put in Paw Patrol… or Blaze. I changed my mind. Blaze. 

Until next week folks…

Friday Funny 1/21/2022

This week’s Friday Funny comes courtesy of my youngest, and is a three-parter.

Samurai Jack Wannabe

Jackson and I were home just the two of us on Monday. Older sis and bro were at school, mom was at work. Typical Monday in our house actually once Emma started 5 day a week Kindergarten. I had a cup with sweet tea flavored water in the living room while he was taking his nap. I had not finished all of it, but no big deal. I am working in the kitchen fixing dinner while he is in the living room, having woken up from nap by this point. He comes running into the kitchen super excited, and our exchange went like this.

Jackson: “I finished your soda daddy”
Me: “What soda?”
J: “Your soda in the living room.”
M: “I didn’t have soda, I had tea buddy.”
J: “I drank your soda.” giggles maniacally and runs off.
Jokes on him. It wasn’t soda, no matter how much he thinks he pulled a fast one.

Part two is – Mom and Dad spent 20 minutes trying to find the thermometer to make sure whether Emma had a fever or not. We knew we had just used it a night or two before for Jackson when he wasn’t feeling well. Couldn’t find it at all.

Fast forward to a couple nights later, I’ve got the kids helping me pick up their toys and things from the living room. I send Jackson behind the recliner to get this old time tea pot looking thing and some other toys he left there (He likes to hide behind the recliner when he thinks he’s going to get in trouble for something, like swiping someone’s phone or a toy from his sister). I pick up the tea pot when he set it down, it rattles like something is inside it. I pop off the lid. Look what was inside.

He also managed to stick a small container of aquafor in there as well. I get the items out and show him that Mommy was looking for the thermometer.

He responds: “I put it in there. I’m a good hider.”

The things this kid comes up with.

Part 3 involves my new coat I got for Christmas. I had it hanging on a hook by the back door in the kitchen. Emma and Jackson managed to pull it down, and then they ran around claiming they were Daddy. They like to quote me as saying, “We’re eating dinner and going straight to bed.” This is their chant as they run around in my coat. Jackson eventually ended up with the coat, much to Emma’s dismay.

A little blurry because he wouldn’t stand still to take a picture. So this one is on the run.

Stay tuned next week for another edition of Friday Funny, or as I should have called it, “Funny Shit My Kids Did This Week.”

Friday Funny 1/14/2022

This week was a fun one. My 5-year-old daughter, Emma, has a Youtube channel where she has done some cooking shows because she loves being in the kitchen. If you guys would go subscribe to her channel it would mean the world to her. We share all the comments with her because it is a passion project for her.

So, her little brother, Jackson, has tried to get into the kitchen in the past. As a newly minted 3-year-old, he has really begun to assert himself with Emma. Really since she started 5 day a week kindergarten and he had more time to himself. Earlier in the week, we needed to crack eggs for scrambled eggs to do Breakfast for Dinner. Just him, myself, and my wife were home. He wanted to help Mommy in the kitchen, so she set him up with a small bowl to crack eggs into. We did this for Emma when she first started because of shell pieces. Well, he must have cracked over a dozen eggs and only had one or two tiny pieces of shell. 

Selecting his next victim
Adding to the big bowl

My wife took some video and I snapped a couple pictures. We asked him if he was going to do a cooking show like Emma, and he enthusiastically said yes. Then my wife tried to get him to do an intro, “Hi it’s me Jackson, and I’m cooking in the kitchen.” 

His response, “Can’t do it.” As he continues cracking eggs like a pro, he starts waving at the camera and says. “I’m Jackson, Cooking in the Kitchen.” Then goes back to cracking eggs. He wouldn’t repeat it, so the video shot isn’t as polished as Emma’s. It is very Jackson though.

June is here…

Time flies when the world is in crisis and you have three kids to keep track of.

The Coronavirus Pandemic is still in full swing though states are starting to open up a bit. We shall see if this is too soon or not in the coming weeks and months. I’m not a fan of groups of people anyway so that part of the social distancing hasn’t bothered me much. It has been annoying that I couldn’t take the kids to parks or anything when the weather warmed up. Trapped at home has not been kind to my littles. And my oldest, well, he’s had an ok go of this home school thing when they shut schools down in March. Beyond that, we’ve eaten more takeout from local places to help them stay afloat and tried to find creative things to do at home. Which has translated into yard work mainly. We’ve planted some flowers and set up a little fairy garden area that Emma loves. We’ve also take a plot at our village’s community garden. We’ll see how it goes. Not much to show right now except a plot of dirt.

The second bit of unpleasantness to get out of the way is the situation that began in Minneapolis with the death of George Floyd at the hands of police. His murder has ignited protests all over the country and even foreign police are condemning the actions of the officers in Minneapolis. I am appalled and angry that this shit keeps happening in America.

This is a horrible tragedy that has sparked riots and looting as things continue to escalate in cities other than Minneapolis. Even as close to me as Green Bay saw violence at a protest over the weekend. There are reports of rocks being thrown at police.

I’m not going to rehash all the events. I simply want to state that I support the calls against racism, transphobia and all the other despicable-isms. I’m about all lives. Because this issue is about Blacks, I’m in. If it’s Native Americans protesting a shitty pipeline on their land, I’m in. If it’s Pride rallies, I support you too. I can’t do live protests, my anxiety around large groups of people wouldn’t let me contemplate it. So I try to be supportive in other ways. Donations, signing petitions, voting appropriately and encouraging others to as well. So for those out there fighting this fight that needs to happen, I see you. This cishet white guy is sick of the racist bullshit as well.


Now onto more pleasant events for those who’ve stuck it out this long. My oldest is driving. He was able to get his learners permit when the DMV reopened to limited services.

My oldest driving me around town.

It’s going quite well. I feared this day, teen drivers being potentially what they can be, but he’s doing what he should and is attentive on the road. I’m proud of him. Now if the usual teenage surliness would go away, everything would be great. It’s to be expected though. He’s 15 and trying to figure out himself and his place in the world. I try telling myself I wasn’t much better. Hell, I moved out of my parents house a couple months after I turned 17. I hope this pandemic is cleared up in time for football season. I don’t know if either of us could handle him not getting to play football this year. He needs the activity. Playing basketball in the yard by himself isn’t cutting it for his energy level.

Emma let me try braiding her hair a few times recently. Wasn’t terrible at least.

Those who have read about my daughter know that she’s passionate about a great many things. She has her YouTube channel and a Facebook page to document the many things she gets into. This past weekend we were able to begin again the adventure of raising monarch butterflies. We found our first eggs. She was beyond excited when we found the first one. We ended up with ten from our excursion into a marshy area. All ten hatched within a few days and we’ve added a dozen more as well as some that we found already hatched into tiny caterpillars. Now we wait and see if this next batch all hatched, as well as continue to hunt for more. Keeping these beautiful creatures from all becoming bird food is a noble cause right?

Jackson Ferrell, the youngest.

How to begin to describe my youngest child. Perhaps this image will help you. Picture a Tornado wearing a Hurricane Jacket, plunked down into a Volcano, while riding a Tsunami during an Earthquake. That should give you a pretty clear picture of the Incarnation of Chaos this little one has become. He chatters away at you, mostly making sense, and understands more than he pretends to. Close to bed time the other night, my wife asked him, “What do you want for snack?” He looks right at me and plain as day said, “Ice Cream Cone Daddy.” Then went back to snuggling his mother while I made him a little cone with orange sherbet. He tests my patience almost as strongly as his older brother. He really riles his sister up. He will pick something up, a toy or doll or whatever. If she decides she wants it. She goes up to him and as she’s asking him for it or offering something different in trade; she snatched the item and leaves. Then you hear, “EMMA!” at the top of his little lungs. Sometimes I think he takes her favorite doll on purpose just to make her angry.

He’s also quite entertaining when it comes to big brother, “Teta.” (Emma started calling Mason, Teta, pronounced TeeTah, and it’s kinda stuck.) So Jackson has a poop diaper, we can all smell it. Mom asks, “Jackson, did you poop your pants?” “No.” He replies with this smirk on his face. Mom asks, “Who put the poop in your pants then?” “Teta.” He yells with a giggle and a look at his older brother. Teta was a good sport. He just said, “Jackson you weren’t supposed to tell anyone.” Which set everyone to laughing, even Emma.

All three of my kids challenge me to be a better person. To set a better example than what they may see around them in these times of crisis. I just hope I’m doing a good enough job.


My writing has been up and down the last few months. I’m still hitting my word count goals but I’m no where near ready to publish anything because I keep bouncing from project to project, unable to focus on much except knocking out Tales Of Ezrahn short stories. I think I almost have enough for a collection so maybe if I can knock that out I’ll be able to get back to Mike’s journey. Book three needs some rewrites then off to my editor. I hope he’s ready to deal with Colleen coming back into his life and a betrayal from The Council.

Until next time, my Gentle Readers. Keep on keeping on.