Everyday seems to be a new learning experience for me. I learn about myself, about what it means to put myself out in the world with my writing, and about being a father. I hope as this ride of life continues, I will be able to connect with others out there who may be experiencing some of the same struggles and triumphs that I am. In our shared experiences I hope to grow as a father, a writer, and as a human being.
I still have rather specific topics that I want to focus on.:
1. To share my thoughts on fatherhood, a role I never really expected to take on when I left home at the tender age of 17 to forge my own way in the world.
2. To share with the world my random creative projects, be they poetry, short stories, or the novel that I jokingly called my “life’s work” because I did not think I would ever be happy enough with it to submit for actual publication. Well, I self published it in July of 2014 and began the campaign to build an online presence and brand. That journey seems to make a leap, and then seem to sit stagnant for a while. I still have two further books in the same series I am working on drafts for, as well as a slew of other projects I just need to get myself to put on paper.
3. To just rant about whatever may have struck my fancy at that particular moment or day, be it work (a constant source of ranting and raving), home, life in general, or that weird guy at Wal-Mart wearing a suit straight out of the 20s (come on, we all love People of Walmart don’t we?)
A little bit about me. I am the oldest of three boys my mother raised – I do have other siblings on my biological father’s side that include an older sister, a younger brother, and a now teenage baby sister. Growing up the oldest in my particular household has made me fiercely particular and independent. I prefer things done the way I prefer them done, and there are certain things that just don’t matter to me (like what color the walls are, as long as it doesn’t give me a headache). This has caused many an eye rolling from my wife as we have decorated our home together the last few years. She seems to think that I will change in that aspect, when I probably won’t. My wife, no matter what else may be said/written in the posts that follow, is my rock. Without her I would not be the person I am today. In the short time we have been married I have learned just how strong a person can be. I love you honey.
My son… words fail me to describe such a shining light in my world. I look forward to those moments every day when I see him smile and hear his laugh. I struggle with fatherhood most of all I think. My role model growing up was my grandfather, who was a former Marine. You learned quickly to move when asked to do something. It was just the way I was brought up. My son is a very well behaved young lad who gets great grades and hardly ever gets in trouble at school. When my son doesn’t quite react as quickly as I did growing up, I get a little frustrated. It isn’t really fair to him as he didn’t grow up in the same house as I did, and I am working to get better at it. I hope one day he will look back and not think poorly of me as a role model and father because of this.
I love my family. I wish my brothers and I were closer, not just physically but emotionally as well. We have drifted far from the way we grew up. We have all gone our separate paths and that is good. But as I am now in my 30s, I realize I do not have that closeness that I see in my wife’s family. Part of it is my fault, I don’t put forth as much effort as I should. There has been some progress with my brothers the last year.
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