Friday Funny 2/4/2022

Jackson had a good one this week. Mr. I’m 3 and I Know Everything. He wanted something from our camper, that is currently in storage in a building behind our house. Now, a couple months back when it was first put in there, he wanted something from it. I went back there with him and he realized he cannot get to the toys (because with the slideouts in, you can’t access the bunkhouse portion. You can’t access the kitchen either. He didn’t believe me that we emptied the snacks out of the cabinet – but we did.

So the day before this story happened, he told Mom he wanted the “slime” from the camper. I’m not certain this slime even exists, to be honest. He proceeded to put on his coat and go try to get in it. Things did not go as he planned. He was highly upset.

The story for this week is him trying a third time to get into the camper, but this time, he decided to bring a secret weapon – Dad. I arrived home from work, and was told off immediately about how he wanted the slime from the camper. He drags me by the hand outside and to the storage building. Now, this is Wisconsin in winter. We have snow on the ground. Surprisingly not as much as some years, but enough for his tennis shoes to sink to his ankle.

As he took that first step onto the unshoveled or unplowed snow and sank. He looks and me and says, “I need you to make footprints for me to walk in.” I did, taking strides about the length of my shoe so he could use them to not sink in the snow.

We get to the camper door and he starts to pull on the metal folding stairs. I wait. I know what is coming. He turns to me. “You have to open these.” As he tugs on the stairs. I get the stairs down for him. He climbs up on them, “Now I have to open the door.”

Dad ends up doing this too. He goes into the entranceway of the camper and looks at the wall of the slideout, blocking his way further into the camper. He asks me where his bedroom is (the bunkhouse at the rear). I point through the slideout panel. He tries to peer in the window that is there. He orders me into the camper with him. After explaining there is no power, we can’t make the slides go out (not to mention the walls of the storage building would prevent them from opening too far anyway), he then tries the switches anyway.

Eventually, he gives up, accepts defeat. We put everything back the way we found it and he goes inside to tell Mom. He’s persistent though. I suspect we will try again in a week or two.

Weekly Writerly Review 2/1/2022

Well. I’m a day late on this one but we closed out January with another 2k+ week. This put me over 14k for the month. Not as good as last years 30k but I’ve been a little scatterbrained. If I could find the one project that would consume me like that, I’d be off to the races.

I am up to one of my favorite stories in Tales of Ezrahn. Master of War tells the tale of Kreios as he discovers the godly forces behind all the war in the realm. Editing is going slowly but steadily. I might have this ready for betas by summer at this rate.

Blogging is going fairly well with my two a week schedule. Thank you all for coming along on my writing journey this year.

Friday Funny 1/28/2022

It’s been a very cold week here in Wisconsin. Even taking the Littles outside to play on the snow mound isn’t much fun. But my kids have adapted a little, though it provides a hilarious scenario this week. 

Emma has been asking Me to play hide and seek in the house with her. I finally had to break the news to her that there aren’t a lot of places for Daddy to hide inside the house. So we decided to play Hide A Stuffy. She picked a stuffed animal and we took turns hiding that for the seeker to find. It usually ended up playing Hot/Cold for her to find it. Or she would beg for hints. 

This week her and Jackson played it together without Dad. I’m listening as she keeps adding more stuffies for Jackson to hide at the same time (they got up to 7 or 8 before the game broke down.) 

Now, Jackson doesn’t quite understand how Hide and Seek works yet. He’s the kid you can call his name and he’ll tell you he’s “over here”. So he hides the stuffed animals. Then proceeds to tell Emma things like, ”I hid it over here.” While pointing to a cabinet or behind a box. Sometimes he would just tell her what room it was in, and I had hope for those rounds. 

Every time he’d tell her exactly where something was, Emma would yell at him he isn’t supposed to tell her. I overheard an exchange that went something like this.

E: Ok, Jackson, you have to give me a hint.

J: I hid them here in Teta’s room. (As he leads her into their big brother’s room.)

E:  (moments later, yelling) I SAID DON’T TELL ME WHERE IT IS.

J:(sits on the couch) I need a break. Can you put in Paw Patrol… or Blaze. I changed my mind. Blaze. 

Until next week folks…

Weekly Writerly Review 1/24/2022

This past week started off strong, and then stalled out on me. I did manage over 4k words for the week. I got some editing done on my short story collection as well as added some words to a different project I’m working on. A couple of blog posts got added into the mix.

I went through a few of the latest submissions for Spring Into SciFi 2022 so I am almost caught up on those at this time. Still excited for this year’s edition and the other two collections planned for June. Trying to find traction for the Kaleidoscope project in attracting talent, but it’s still early. I’m sure it will work out in the end.

I grabbed up a MG fantasy beta read from an email list I am in, because I hope it will help me with my own MG stuff. We’ll see. They want it turned around by the end of the month or so. I have to get cracking on that tonight.

My oldest had a couple basketball games this week. I love watching him on the court or the football field. I can tell that it is his zen, the place the feels the most at peace and centered. The littles have had trouble with their “listening ears” this week. It’s frustrating but we have more good days than bad days. I keep telling myself they are only 5 and 3. We’ll get there.

Until next week. Keep reading and writing folks…

Friday Funny 1/21/2022

This week’s Friday Funny comes courtesy of my youngest, and is a three-parter.

Samurai Jack Wannabe

Jackson and I were home just the two of us on Monday. Older sis and bro were at school, mom was at work. Typical Monday in our house actually once Emma started 5 day a week Kindergarten. I had a cup with sweet tea flavored water in the living room while he was taking his nap. I had not finished all of it, but no big deal. I am working in the kitchen fixing dinner while he is in the living room, having woken up from nap by this point. He comes running into the kitchen super excited, and our exchange went like this.

Jackson: “I finished your soda daddy”
Me: “What soda?”
J: “Your soda in the living room.”
M: “I didn’t have soda, I had tea buddy.”
J: “I drank your soda.” giggles maniacally and runs off.
Jokes on him. It wasn’t soda, no matter how much he thinks he pulled a fast one.

Part two is – Mom and Dad spent 20 minutes trying to find the thermometer to make sure whether Emma had a fever or not. We knew we had just used it a night or two before for Jackson when he wasn’t feeling well. Couldn’t find it at all.

Fast forward to a couple nights later, I’ve got the kids helping me pick up their toys and things from the living room. I send Jackson behind the recliner to get this old time tea pot looking thing and some other toys he left there (He likes to hide behind the recliner when he thinks he’s going to get in trouble for something, like swiping someone’s phone or a toy from his sister). I pick up the tea pot when he set it down, it rattles like something is inside it. I pop off the lid. Look what was inside.

He also managed to stick a small container of aquafor in there as well. I get the items out and show him that Mommy was looking for the thermometer.

He responds: “I put it in there. I’m a good hider.”

The things this kid comes up with.

Part 3 involves my new coat I got for Christmas. I had it hanging on a hook by the back door in the kitchen. Emma and Jackson managed to pull it down, and then they ran around claiming they were Daddy. They like to quote me as saying, “We’re eating dinner and going straight to bed.” This is their chant as they run around in my coat. Jackson eventually ended up with the coat, much to Emma’s dismay.

A little blurry because he wouldn’t stand still to take a picture. So this one is on the run.

Stay tuned next week for another edition of Friday Funny, or as I should have called it, “Funny Shit My Kids Did This Week.”

Friday Funny 1/14/2022

This week was a fun one. My 5-year-old daughter, Emma, has a Youtube channel where she has done some cooking shows because she loves being in the kitchen. If you guys would go subscribe to her channel it would mean the world to her. We share all the comments with her because it is a passion project for her.

So, her little brother, Jackson, has tried to get into the kitchen in the past. As a newly minted 3-year-old, he has really begun to assert himself with Emma. Really since she started 5 day a week kindergarten and he had more time to himself. Earlier in the week, we needed to crack eggs for scrambled eggs to do Breakfast for Dinner. Just him, myself, and my wife were home. He wanted to help Mommy in the kitchen, so she set him up with a small bowl to crack eggs into. We did this for Emma when she first started because of shell pieces. Well, he must have cracked over a dozen eggs and only had one or two tiny pieces of shell. 

Selecting his next victim
Adding to the big bowl

My wife took some video and I snapped a couple pictures. We asked him if he was going to do a cooking show like Emma, and he enthusiastically said yes. Then my wife tried to get him to do an intro, “Hi it’s me Jackson, and I’m cooking in the kitchen.” 

His response, “Can’t do it.” As he continues cracking eggs like a pro, he starts waving at the camera and says. “I’m Jackson, Cooking in the Kitchen.” Then goes back to cracking eggs. He wouldn’t repeat it, so the video shot isn’t as polished as Emma’s. It is very Jackson though.

Daddy/Jackson Day 9/20/2021

Today did not start out the way I would have liked. My youngest decided at 1am he was up. Wife had to work so it was up to Dad to take him downstairs and try to get him wound down.

Flash forward about 4 hours and I finally get him in his bed. I go back to mine to find my 5yr old has invaded. Dad hooks back into his cpap machine (yes I’ve been diagnosed with severe sleep apnea). About an hour later I have to get up and get kids ready for school. I send off the older two to school, wife to work, and I finally get another hour or so of sleep, albeit with Jackson sleeping on my arm.

Caffienating as I drive, we make it to our joint chiropractor appointment. I get adjusted and then it’s Jackson’s turn. It’s like he flipped a switch and became the most well behaved not quite 3 year old you’d ever meet.

A little facial massage to help open his sinuses.

We then managed to negotiate shopping at Walmart in record time, only missing one item, because they were out of it.

Successful shopping trip: Check

I would say, never argue with a child about what you McDonald’s has, because even if you’re right, you’re wrong. I told him they didn’t have dinosaur toys, he insisted they did. He ended up with Lion King’s Simba.

Lunch home and nap: in that order. Dad would have loved to get a nap too, but sadly I had things to do. He looked well rested when he got up later.

No pictures, please.

In the store, he’d tried to put two bags of mini powdered donuts in the cart. We compromised on one, in addition to the promised box of candy he got for being a good boy all day. For snack time before bed, he swore to me he didn’t pick out the candy that he did, Jolly Rancher Sour Gummies.

Instead, he chose to have two donuts “I need one for each hand”. And a third to give to Mommy “They are her favorite, I know”.

That’s when I was betrayed. He said he wanted more. Dad said no. Mom told Jackson to get the kitchen stool so he could reach them off the back of the counter where I had put them.

Celebrating his victory with additional donuts.

It’s clear the gauntlet had been thrown. The coup has begun. Dad is going to be overthrown as King of the House.

Who am I kidding?

Dad hasn’t been King since at least Empress Emma was born. I’m just a puppet. Dancing upon the strings.

Moral of the Day: Maybe, just maybe, the kid needs a facial massage and chiropractor appointment to keep the sassy away.

Jackson wants to go “Bishing”

Jackson wants to go “Bishing”

I’ll clarify this post at the beginning before anyone gets confused. “Bishing” means “Fishing”. This summer, my youngest has discovered the ages old past time of fishing. He’s absolutely mad for it. He even sounds like a cranky old fisherman sometimes.

Where we spend our summers, he’s been using canned corn to fish from the dock, catching sunfish and bluegill, along with the occasional catfish or a tiny bass. when he reels in his line and the corn is gone, he’ll turn around and mutter, “Fish took my darn bait.” I wish he’d do it on camera, but if he sees the phone pointed at him he clams up and hides his face. At least, most of the time.

Sunday morning was our last morning at the lake for the season. And as the first rays of sun poked through the camper windows. He’s jumping up and down on me yelling, “It morning time. It Bishing time.”

So, now that our time at the lake is over, he still wants to go “bishing” down by the river or even back to the lake. On Monday we got a container of worms and went to the river on the edge of town while we waited for his sister to finish after school program. We didn’t catch anything, but the way he looks at the water and his line; it’s a boy in his happy place. Hard to believe he’s not even 3 yet.

This means dad has to learn something about fishing. Which I haven’t done seriously since I was a kid myself. And that with a cane pole catching brim down south. I’m hoping he doesn’t want to ice fish though. That’s pretty darn cold.

Though “Bishing” really isn’t my thing, I’d love to be supportive of his enthusiasm, which means it’s time to learn what I can. If anyone has any favorite blogs or podcasts about fishing I’d appreciate it if you dropped them in the comments. Even better if they specifically talk about fishing in Wisconsin. Until next time…

Week in Review- June 19th, 2021

This was a big week in the Ferrell Household.

I managed to write two scenes for book 4 of my urban fantasy series, Family Heritage. A third scene is formulated but not fully written. I began a new short story for Meteor Falls. Oh yeah, and I turned 39. Last year of the 30s before I hit the big 40.

Our monarch butterfly season is in full swing. We have close to 500 eggs and caterpillars of various stages. And nearly a dozen in “raccoons” as Emma called them the first season. She couldn’t say cocoons, much less chrysalis, at that point. The term has kinda stuck around our house, even though we know the proper terms now and can use them.

Sunday is my niece/goddaughter’s birthday. I took Emma and Jackson to go birthday shopping for her. They did really well picking out things they thought Nora would like. I guess we’ll see when we go there for her party.

1 Month Down 2021 Edition

January was a good month for me on a lot of fronts, although I didn’t blog about them. I did put a bit more of my writing journey on Facebook on my author page though.

January Writing News:

30558 words written. Most of it in my just over 27k MG/YA fantasy novel. “Sibling Rivalry: A Children of the Realms Tale” will be getting pitched to agents and editors during the February 3rd #SFFPIT event in Twitter. You can check it out at this LINK. If anyone is on Twitter and would be willing to help Retweet me, you can find me on Twitter under andrewmferrell

My February goals include knocking out the rest of the two short stories I’m working on for my Meteor Fall project. Hopefully then that collection will start to come together. I’m working with some great friends of mine in the writing world. I think readers will enjoy the world we’re creating.

I’m also planning on getting a big chunk of my wip “Bible of Mars” done. This was an idea my father in law came up with when we used to carpool to the day job. Involved people having migrated from Mars to earth for some reason. I ended up finding a plot and outlining it last year. I don’t think I’ll finish it this month. It should be a fun SciFi romp though.

Family Heritage Book 3: Reunions & Rebellions is in the hands of some betas and proofreaders. I have a cover mock-up I’ll share later this month I think once I think I have a handle on its publication date.

On the home front things are going pretty good. My oldest started his job and it’s going alright except for constant changes in his sports schedule messing with his work schedule. But basketball season will be over soon and then he can put in a few more hours. We’re getting along pretty well. I’m proud of the choices he’s making lately with regards to school and his future.

Emma and Jackson are still giving Dad a run for his money. Here’s Emma and I playing on a 15-20 ft snow pile behind our house yesterday.

It was harder to climb than I thought it would be because the snow was very fluffy and didn’t pack down well. I kept sinking and sliding back down. It was fun though. Wife and Jackson watched from a window and laughed pretty hard at “Daddy fall down. “Daddy fall again”. As Jackson put it. He’d had enough by this time and had gone back inside.

I have a short story of n a collection called “The Depths of Love: an SFWG anthology” due out February 10th. I happen to know if you preorder the ebook and send a screenshot to the publisher, you are entered to win a paperback copy of any short story collection they’ve published.

Cloaked Press also has its 2021 edition of Spring Into SciFi coming later this month or first week of March. Currently accepting submissions for the first Summer of Speculation themed anthology as well. Catastrophe is the theme. All the details are on their website.

I’m hoping to get more updates here on the blog in the future. Maybe just a weekly check in with some more writing and family news as that’s my focus here. Thank you all for coming along on this crazy journey with me.